


Convincing Me

by alwayspondering



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Manipulative Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:33:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29386335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwayspondering/pseuds/alwayspondering
Summary: After losing everything, V is offered a chance to return to the life he once had. Unfortunately, this chance comes from the very person who destroyed it all in the first place. His worst nightmare, ever-evolving dream, first love, first obsession. She was all of this and more. And he’s once again at her mercy.This is my attempt at filling in the gaps that Cheritz left with V and Rika in Saeran’s After Ending.
Relationships: Rika/V | Kim Jihyun, V | Kim Jihyun & Main Character
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	1. Duplicity

### Duplicity

### 

**_TW: Mentions of past domestic violence._ **

_// This is set to take place at the end of Saeran’s route, when Saeran and MC leave V at the mercy of Rika in Mint Eye. //_

I’m still able to pinpoint the exact moment I lost myself willingly.  
I can still feel the panic, then, the relief. A glitch in the system. A moment of escape. A chance to get the hell out of Mint Eye.

And _hell_ it was.

In MC’s mind, there was no hesitation. The woman I’d learned to confide in looked me dead in the eyes. The woman I’d learned to trust turned her gentle gaze to Saeran. The woman I’d learned to love made the decision as quickly as her gaze faltered. She left me, just as they all did. Just as _she_ said they would.

“I’m so sorry, V. I’ll make it up to you, somehow.” I could see the sincerest form of guilt graze her face. Her sweet, truly innocent face. So different from _hers._

Then, her deciding to take Saeran’s hand and not mine.

Running. Succeeding. Me, suffocating - _shattering._ Leaving me alone with _her._

My worst nightmare, but ever-evolving dream. My first love - first _obsession._ My downfall - or my only hope. The one I once promised my entire life to. The one who now owned me whether I liked it or not.

I can only imagine what my face looked like. It would have made a great photograph.

Before the realization set into either one of us, Saeran and MC were gone. Everything around me was unfocused. I was dazed. Confused.

Then, a voice dragged me out of my haze, drawing the harsh lines of reality around me once more.

“Yes, keep running! You’ll never survive in this terrible, terrible world!” Rika stumbled in the direction where they ran, reaching out into the nothingness. Her shriek echoed through the trees, sending a shiver through the still branches. We both knew they were far gone by now.

“... Saeran... My darling Saeran... He won’t make it far at all. What a useless, ignorant child.”

A grin still graced her rosebud lips, but I could tell it was pained more than anything else. As much as I’d tried to push everything I’d ever felt for Rika away, a part of me still wanted to reach out to her. To take her hand and attempt to comfort her. Tuck a strand of her impossibly soft blonde hair behind her ear. Whisper in her ear the lies she so craved, the lies I had trained myself to believe.

“...I want you to live in this pain, V, just like I had to. Live with the fact that the boy will die without me.”

_Just like I had to._

I stood motionless, feeling the usual numbness envelop me - the numbness that used to protect myself around her. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything around her. She would find a way to use it against me, twist my own feelings until I couldn’t tell up from down, right from wrong.

She was a genius in the best and worst ways.

“Are you going to fucking _say_ something?” She spoke low, dangerously. It triggered something in my memory, shaking me from my anxious reverie. My body instinctively flinched, responding to whatever was coloring the darkness in her tone. It was a warning. I knew it was coming, the sharp flash of pain that would spread across my face. Physical proof of the resentment she felt towards me. Proof that nothing here between us could ever work again. Proof that even for a moment, she could be wiped from my diseased mind. As sick as it sounded, I wished for that pain, that proof.

But… _nothing._ I almost laughed at the absurdity of it; the one moment I wished for her to inflict pain, and she would not bestow it on me.

Then, the peal of bell-like laughter that mocked me.

For the first time in two years I purposefully met her gaze.

“Haha... I can see the thoughts swirling up there. Hard as you may try, you can never hide from me.” Her face went blank for a split second, then broke into the mask of innocence that she donned for the rest of the world. “I thought we promised never to hide _anything_ from each other.”

I cursed myself. How was it, that even after all this time, she could still read me so easily?

What I cursed more, though, was that a part of me wanted to believe the mask of purity, wanted to fall back under that spell of sweet elixir. A part of me wanted to touch the side of her cheek, let her lean into my hand. Trace her defined, delicate cheekbones with my thumb. Let her tears spill out. Hold her close. Rinse. Repeat.

I wanted to know what thoughts were running through _her_ head. That had always been the biggest mystery. A mystery I knew I’d never crack no matter how much I tried.

Sensing my studying of her, she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly. Her fake innocence melted away, revealing a serenity that I knew was not fake. Sweeter than before. Angelic, almost. Closer to the Rika I first fell in love with.

When she finally spoke, her voice was soothing. “Talk to me. Please.”

I let the silence linger for a while, a million different word combinations racing through my mind. Apologies. Lies. Ramblings. Everything jumbled together until I could make sense of none of it. So I chose the one word I assumed would be safe.

“Rika...”

My lips finally allowed me the syllables to form the name of the beautiful, terrifyingly complicated woman standing in front of me.

Apologies. Lies. Rambings. Distractions. Racing past, faster and faster.

“...You’re pitiful.”

Her expression was softer than her words. Her words were merciless, but her eyes now shone with a quiet sadness.

“I know,” I replied, my voice barely a whisper.

“You _know?_ ” She scoffed, her expression hardening once more. “You couldn’t even _begin_ to know!” The words stabbed me with a force I didn’t expect, but I tried not to let it deter me. She wouldn’t get me, ever again. She couldn’t.

“If I could take away your pain, I would.” The words came instinctually, like a script I followed. A script that comforted her in a way that I hoped would appease her, even if just for a little while.  
“... Do you really think I’d fall for that again, V? If you do, you’re underestimating me.” She extended her arms in front of her and clasped her hands, the innocent-seeming gesture emphasizing her bust. “We both know that I know you better than you know yourself. You might as well acknowledge your Savior.”

My worst nightmare, but ever-evolving dream. My first love - first _obsession._ My downfall - or my only hope. The one I once promised my entire life to. The one who now owned me whether I liked it or not. _My Savior._

“...And I might as well keep calling _you_ Believer Number A306, hm?”

I was taken aback by her words. Just exactly _how much_ did she know? Had I been that careless? My mind swirled, the paranoia drowning out everything else.

Rika sauntered towards me, deliberately closing the distance between us until she was all but pressed against me, the delicate curve of her body - that I had once memorized - mere inches from me.

“You don’t deserve to be called by your own name.” The devilish twinkle in her eyes teased me in more ways than one. She continued, her voice a double-edged sword pressing into me with every word: “If you’re smart, you’ll listen to me. You’ll stay obedient. If you stay obedient, you’ll stay alive. Do you understand?”

“Yes. I understand.” I stated simply, mechanically.

With this, Rika’s hand seamlessly rose to touch my cheek, and time slowed down. The moment her fingertips made contact, every atom in me sang at her touch. My body was my own traitor. It had been so long since I had felt… anything. Once again betrayed, I felt myself melting into her palm. My thoughts raced, my heart threatening to beat right out of my chest.

I kept my expression as blank as possible.

Rika’s pupils dilated noticeably as they glared into mine.

“...Convince me.”


	2. Proposition

### Chapter 2: Proposition 

### 

**_TW: Mentions of domestic abuse and dubious consent._ **

_“...Convince me.”_

Rika’s hand lingered on my cheek and I could feel my skin flush beneath her familiar fingertips. If this were two years ago, the devilish twinkle in her eyes would have rendered me just as speechless. Like so many times before.

The fucked up thing was, I knew full well she was toying with me. She was reading every single twitch. Every movement. Looking for an opportunity to reel me in again. Use me as her pawn. Something I could only dream to do successfully.

_\---Two years earlier---_

“I don’t believe anything coming out of your mouth right now, Jihyun!” Another argument. Another over-exaggeration. Another ten lies about something stupid and mundane. I knew I was guilty. I had a terrible habit of lying to minimize the pain of others, even if it meant putting the blame on myself.

“Why would I ever lie to you?” The words fell out seamlessly, piece by piece. My own fucked-up puzzle only I could decipher.

“I can’t trust you. I can’t trust _anyone._ How can I trust you if all you do is lie?” Her voice taunted me. “All anyone does is lie to me, and then leave me!”

Suddenly, Rika collapsed in my arms, sobbing. I caught her immediately in a strong embrace. I could already feel her tears already dampening my shirt. I let her tears spill out, my thumb tracing circles on her back the way I knew she loved.

“...You _know_ I would never leave you, Rika. I love you--”

“ _Fuck_ you!” As quickly as she’d collapsed into my arms, I felt a sharp pain ripple across my cheek. I bit my tongue, staring back at Rika with as blank of an expression as possible. I had to be numb. Clear of any thoughts that she could rip me apart with. She was hurting. My pain meant nothing.

“...No. No one could ever love me. I can’t believe that.” Rika’s voice deepened with sorrow and she refused to meet my gaze. What was going on in that beautiful, terrifying mind of hers?

“Rika...” I said the one word I knew I could count on. I considered my next words. What would serve me best in this moment? Allow as much damage control as possible? I offered a hand to her, surmising this was the safest option. Let her come to me when she is ready. She was now caved in on herself, her delicate arms wrapped so tightly around herself it pained me to see.

“...I don’t deserve your love, Jihyun. I don’t.” She continued on, wiping her trailing tears with the sleeve of her thick sweater. “...Why are you even still here?”

I watched her eyes. Her pupils dilated ever so slightly as I met her gaze.

“How can I convince you that I’m not like _them?_ That I won’t ever leave you?” My voice cooed, praying for a way out of this conversation.

“You can’t.” She was dismissive.

“...Rika..” This time, she allowed me to take her hand in mine. Our fingers always laced so seamlessly, two broken pieces that fit so well together. The silence lingered between us for a moment - apart from a few sniffles - and I tried to predict what might come out of her mouth next. She ran her thumb along the top of my hand, and I knew immediately she was calculating her next move. Our relationship was a game of chess and most of the time, we both knew exactly how to play each other. The problem was, we both wanted to win.

Rika’s free hand rose to cup the side of my face and I was suddenly painfully aware of the flush in my cheeks. I instinctually melted into her hand, the coldness of her fingers soothing the very spot she’d just lashed out at. 

“...If you can’t convince me that you love me - _that you’re still my Sun_ \- I don’t see any other reason we should stay together.” Rika’s words were innocent, but there was an edge to them that rendered me speechless. Through half-closed eyes she regarded me, filling suddenly with an intense need.

Before I could even think, she’d grabbed my wrists and forced her body firmly against my own. Our lips crashed together with an aggressive desire. It happened so quickly, I couldn’t process what was happening until it was too late. 

“Wait--” I gasped in for air. I could taste the saltiness of her still-flowing tears as we kissed. “Ri--”

She shut me up with a deepening of the kiss, her shallow breaths beginning to hitch. Her body melted against mine, forcing us to the wall. Her fingernails clawed at my back. When her hands hooked into my belt, she immediately began undoing the buckle. I instinctually flinched.

“Don’t. Not now--” 

Rika grabbed my chin, forcing my gaze to meet hers. There was a different look in her eyes now. I knew I had to give in to what she wanted, or I would regret it later. I had no option. It didn’t matter if I regretted it now or not.

“Jihyun, _please_...” Her voice held a new layer of desire. Deeper. Beyond desire - _desperation._ Desperation we both knew we had for each other. As much as we knew how to push each other to the edge, it was an obsession on both sides that we had convinced ourselves was “love.”

_“...Convince me.”_

\---

I shuddered as the memory replayed in my mind. The only thing that snapped me out of it was the look of subtle concern that played across Rika’s face. Within a moment, she dropped her hand from my cheek as if she had remembered herself. _Had she?_

Just like before, I pondered her words, trying to interpret every possible meaning. 

“...Convince you?” The words spilled out of my mouth. 

“Yes.” She linked her hands together in front of her again, breaking her gaze. 

“I need you to convince me that leaving me was a mistake. Convince me that I’m still worth giving a damn about. Convince me we can at least still tolerate each other...” Her voice trailed off as if she were considering the weight of her next words “...If I’m lucky, perhaps we can even be friends.”

_Friends._

“I see.” I could still feel the lingering blush in my cheeks as I considered the possibility. 

A part of me immediately shunned even the idea of a friendship. I wondered what her underlying intentions were. She always had them. As much as I wanted to figure them out, I feared that more than anything else. 

Her intentions were never innocent. In the worst months of the relationship, she became a master at ripping all hope away. A master of manipulation - she was asking me to buy into the lie she had crafted. The lie that had been us, the big _L word._

Jumin had helped me put another word to it: _Obsession._ Maybe even purely _lust._

It had taken time to convince myself that that was all our relationship had been. I had been rock-solid in my belief before I’d stepped into the concrete jungle that was Mint Eye. I still wanted to convince myself I was correct.

My worst nightmare, but ever-evolving dream. My first love - first _obsession._ My downfall - or my only hope. The one I once promised my entire life to. The one who now owned me whether I liked it or not. 

_Could she be my friend?_

“I want to make this as easy on you as possible. I know I didn’t really do that earlier tonight, and for that I want to apologize.”

Now _this,_ this surprised me. I realized that my body had once again been tensing, preparing for another verbal or physical strike. But these words… I was not at all convinced that the words she was saying were true, but the fact that she was saying them at all was enough to stop me in my tracks.

“You don’t have to say anything now. I know you may have a hard time believing me, and I’ve given you every reason to distrust me,” She paused, fidgeting with her hands demurely. She seemed to be weighing her words very carefully. “But... I want you to know that you can trust me. I know you - I know I can’t convince you with just my words.” Her wind-chime like laughter escaped her lips. 

“You deserve to choose what happens next. You always do. I wish I had convinced you of that truth sooner. Maybe things would have turned out differently. And that’s why I want to offer you a choice - no strings attached.” Rika’s fidgeting ceased as she turned her attention back to my face. Her face radiated with a new cherubic honesty.

“Of course you are free to leave, but I would worry after your safety if you were to leave like this. I have a guest room available, if you’d like to stay here for the night - nothing more.”

Again, surprise. She was giving me the option to leave? _But why…_

It all clicked, and the familiar dread washed over me. She would do this, push people away and retreat further into her own mind. It was a path that led to nothing but destruction - both of self and of others.

“...Yes, I can agree it wouldn’t be a good idea to leave tonight.” My voice came out in a rasp, and I was surprised by the fatigue that showed in my voice. This is what she did, gave me emotional whiplash. But here I was, still coming back for more.

I watched her expression change - her emerald eyes lit up and a soft smile graced her rose-petal lips. There was a new relief in her expression, one I knew was honest. 

“Alright, then. Follow me.”

With those words, she turned her back from me and began leading the way back towards Mint Eye. She stayed close enough so that it was easy to find her shape even with my slowly deteriorating vision.

Two gangly men opened the doors that led from the outside of the garden into the main hallway of Mint Eye. “Welcome back, my Savior.”

“Let it be known that Saeran is no longer under my care. Spread the word among the other Believers. That is all.” Rika stated mechanically, addressing the men with a nod before moving on. I could tell she was forcing back the emotions that were still so raw. Maybe we were more similar than I remembered. 

“Understood.” They locked the doors behind us. As I looked at the two men, they looked strangely familiar. I towered over them in height, but I could tell from looking down at their expressions that they were unsure, almost skeptical of me following their Savior.

“It’s just right down this way.” Rika’s voice rang out clearer now, and we continued down the hall. The hall was empty apart from the two men at the door and one woman who passed us on our left. It had to be late by this point - I estimated it was about midnight. I could feel the fatigue settling further into my body as we walked. I’d had no time to process what had just happened, but I also don’t think I had enough energy to even try.

As we approached the door, I noticed it was near the room MC had been trapped in. I didn’t have the emotional stamina to even try to think about MC. I knew it would only lead me further down the rabbit hole. I knew I would spiral.

“There’s a pack of toiletries you can use for the night on the bathroom counter. Let me know if there’s anything else you need.” Her voice was calculated and almost businesslike. Much different than what I had experienced outside. Though, I figured she had to mask a lot as her “Savior” character.

“Good night, V.” The same gentleness from earlier was layered into her soft voice. “Take it easy. Please get some sleep, all right?”

“Yes, good night.” I answered with a single nod, returning a weak smile. 

I noticed her expression change slightly. She was still so acutely aware of everything I did - it was almost commendable. I knew she was still trying to find a weakness in me. Or was she just trying to figure me out, the exact same thing I was doing? Was I being a hypocrite?

As Rika turned her back from me, I lingered by the door for a moment before turning the knob. I moved leisurely to the bathroom where there was indeed a nicely packed toiletries bag. Looking at myself in the mirror, the bags under my eyes were more prominent than I remembered.

Hastily, I scrubbed my teeth then stumbled my way back to the bed, all but collapsing upon it. The events of the day came rushing back to me in a weary spiral, and I shut my eyes tight against the memories. There would be time to confront all of that tomorrow. I couldn’t bear it right now.

It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep after that, my body giving in to the exhaustion. I would deal with all of this tomorrow, when my mind was clear. I would leave, just as I was supposed to. I would escape this. It would all come tomorrow. It had to.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! ^^


End file.
